It was a warm June night in Huntington Beach California. A slightly warm breeze blew into the house of Matt Sanders through one of the open windows. The tall man was lying on the couch, soft sobs could be heard coming from the living room. The tragic sound of the man's whimpers flowed through the empty house. He never liked to cry, he always liked to be presented as being strong. His physique contributed to this. He was muscular, his arms were covered with tattoos and he was quite tall. The only part of him that took away from this strong image was his dimples. When Matt smiled, dimples would indent his soft cheeks, completely contrasting the tough guy image he presented. However at this very moment, Matt was a shadow of his former self. He was reduced to tears, curled up on the couch in his living room, shutting out the world that had betrayed him…the person that had betrayed him.

He had been hurt by his boyfriend, the person who had been his best friend for most of his life. 'I didn't mean it', he said. 'I was drunk' he said. 'You know I love you'. But Matt didn't want to believe it, he couldn't believe it. How could he trust someone who had said such horrible things? This doubt forced him into his house, away from everyone he loved. He did not want pity. He was sick of the excuses. He was sick of the constant phone calls and the constant apologies. He just wanted to be alone.

-Knock, Knock, Knock-

Matt ignored the sounds. Maybe they would leave if he didn't say anything.

-Knock, Knock, Knock-

'Matt!!'

It was him. Matt curled up into a tighter ball, trying in vain to block out the sound of the door knocking…the sound of his voice calling his name. It had been a week since he had spoken to him…a week since he had seen his face. He wasn't ready, he would talk to him when he was ready…if he was ever ready.

-Knock, Knock, Knock-

'Matt, I know you are in there, can you please let me in. I just want to talk to you'

Matt was still sobbing, silently choking for breath at the sound of his boyfriend's voice. Whispers of 'go away, go away' flowed from the Matt's lips, almost as if saying these words would some how make it come true.

-Knock, Knock, Knock-

'Matt, please…I just want to talk…I miss you so much. I'm so sorry for what I said…I hate myself for it…I just…I just want you back…please'

The desperation could be heard in the man's voice. Matt could hear the sadness in his tone. Perhaps his words were true, but he wasn't ready to face him. He would choose when that would happen…not him. Silence fell in the air for a few minutes, Matt was sure that he was still there but he would not move from the couch. He wiped the tears from his eyes with his fingertips, the pillow beneath him was soaked in tears. He sniffled as he tried to compose himself. He was sick of crying for this man…sick of being in pain because of his 'drunken mistake'. He stared at the television in front of him. He could see his reflection in the black screen…he looked weak and broken. He hated that he had done that to him. He hated what the man behind the door had reduced him to, a crying, broken mess who sat inside all day ignoring the outside world.

'Matt…I'm going now. I'm sorry…I…I love you'

Matt could hear the footsteps receding down the footpath. The sound of a car door opening and closing, the engine roaring to life and the sound of the car driving off down the road. Matt sat up, resting his elbows on his knees with his head in his hands. He wiped any remaining tears from his eyes as he looked back up at his reflection in the television. He resented this hollow shell that his boyfriend left behind. He felt his shattered heart beating weakly in his chest, no longer beating for anyone, merely there to keep him alive. He stood up on shaky legs and looked towards the door…the door that was keeping him in and everyone else out. He imagined his boyfriend standing at the door, he could see his face…this vision so tangible he almost felt it was real. He turned his back on the vision and walked away, trudging slowly up the stairs to his bedroom. He turned back around and the vision had disappeared. His eyes welled up with tears once again, hatred coursing through him, bubbling up, waiting to escape.

'Fuck you'